Living our best lives - solidarity, mutual aid + Bakewell tarts
‘We all just want to be happy don’t we? Isn’t that what everyone wants? And what that looks like to people can be the same or not and we have to respect that dont we?’ - Pauly
A year feels like a long time to reflect on. It was nearly a year ago that COVID19 somehow brought us together and at the same time brutally pulled us apart. It brought survival into sharp focus for all of us. For some people that was nothing new, for those of us lucky enough to be unfamiliar with a sense of powerlessness, it was a whole new reality.
Our community pulled together to make sure we all got what we needed -whether it was cash, food, medication, puzzles, chats, walks, laptops, jobs, TV’s through a simple, self-organised model of mutual aid. There were no formal volunteers in the traditional sense - just big hearted neighbours mucking in.
As we start looking at the kind of world we want to rebuild, holding on tightly to the incredible kindness and solidarity the pandemic brought to the surface, we are refocusing the spotlight on the stuff that makes life worth living.
What gives our lives meaning? It’s often the things that aren’t seen as essential- the delicious meals, the friends, the pint of Guinness, soaps on the telly. The good stuff. We don’t need the good stuff in the same way we need air, water, shelter. But we should see it as essential. It is as universal as breathing and eating - everyone’s lives are made whole by it. No one’s life is fulfilled by only having their basic needs met- after all, these ‘essentials’ we need to survive (as in to not die), are pretty bleak on their own.
The good stuff shouldn’t just be the cherry on the cake - the extra treat reserved for the lucky few. It’s the quality of the cake as much as it’s the cherry. It’s a cherry cake. A Bakewell tart. And it’s the person who gave it to you. We all need good things in our lives, because what’s the point, otherwise?
That’s why we are going to help each other live our best lives, not just stay alive. Amazing food? Yep. Friendships for life? You bet. Someone to talk to? For sure. Emmerdale appreciation society? Hell yes!
It’s not going to be easy, this.
The Victorians invented our modern understanding of charity, but in so doing, reinforced the idea that some people deserve more than others. It’s all well and good providing people with a roof over their heads, they said (eventually), or with just enough means to feed their children. But anything more than that is an unnecessary luxury and an affront to the established class hierarchy and power structures.
The Victorians built for themselves a society with a massive wealth gap. People lived in fear of the terrible workhouse whilst the wealthy scrabbled around for things to occupy their vast time (and money) with, inventing the notion of ‘leisure’ along the way. With this gap came the strange idea that those with wealth deserved what they had, and those living in poverty also deserved what they had (and what they got).
We might not realise it, but most of us still hold the remnants of these ideas in our minds. It makes us think differently about those who don’t have enough. People on Universal Credit were expected to feel grateful for an extra £20 per week during the pandemic as if it were a gift from Rishi Sunak’s very own back pocket, or for half a tomato in their kids’ fortnight’s-worth of free school meals. Services ask people what they need to survive, not what they need to live well.
The incredible conversations we have with our friends at the kitchen - about their dreams, loves, wishes -would dislodge the Victorian in anyone and see them not as victims of their circumstances but humans with as much belief and determination as anyone else. We don’t just want to make sure everyone gets fed. With bellies full, we want everyone around here to have an incredible life and to make those dreams come true. Cake, icing, cherry, raspberry jam-all of it.
In the coming weeks, we’re going to be finding out about what having a good life actually means, and how we can work together to achieve it. Creating good lives in South Norwood will be about more than just fly tipping and leaky bridges. It will be about the people in it, how we relate to each other and all the amazing skills and stories that need to be bigged up. We’ll be blogging about it here.